


Take These Broken Wings

by ThePoetess



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody - Fandom, Freddie Mercury - Fandom, Irrelevant Memes, John Deacon - Fandom, Queen - Fandom, Queen band, brian may - Fandom, roger taylor - Fandom
Genre: Affairs, Anger, Brian being everybody's favorite mother hen, Deaky being a amazing friend, Despair, F/M, Heartache, Heartbreak, Hope, Love ❤️, M/M, Multi, Promise of Happy Ending, Roger being a jerk, Rogerina - Freeform, Terrible Puns and Memes, Thoughts of Suicide, freddie being freddie, trigger warnings ⚠️
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-12
Updated: 2019-03-17
Packaged: 2019-11-15 21:32:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 12
Words: 12,433
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18081269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThePoetess/pseuds/ThePoetess
Summary: John Deacon wants to break free from all the lies that self satisfied smug little Roger Taylor has told him through the years... Really- he wants to break free from life in general, not feeling useful or wanted at all - Brian's too involved with his guitar, the band and a new relationship to notice the changes in his friend (or so John thinks)Freddie's weirdly a little too invested in a relationship with his cats, Paul could care less, and Roger is a large part of the reason why Deaky is feeling the way he is -He just wants to fly away from it all but how can he fly, how can he break free, if his wings are broken?Promise of a happy ending





	1. Baby I don't understand Why we can't just hold on

**Author's Note:**

  * For [John Deacon who inspired me to learn Bass](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=John+Deacon+who+inspired+me+to+learn+Bass).



> WARNING ⚠️ FOR TRIGGERS...  
> suicidal thoughts etc. 
> 
> Please be careful reading this?

It was a simple un-alarming unassuming night quite similar to the last and the night before that and not one person in the small yet cozy flat was stirring (not even the mouse) and nothing remotely out of the ordinary was happening, for the occupants of prior nights festivities were sleeping quietly in their warm beds- 

One occupant of a slightly suffocatingly warm bed, still curled tightly in a velvety blanket burrito while reading a shadowed book of astronomy was the only thing that stirred in the little packed flat, locked on to the contents of the book muttering stuff like "They are so wrong about Pluto not being a planet-" heard the front door slam shut - he rolled his large brown eyes - this was the last straw Rog - the last fuck-i- he'd walked, swathed in his blanket nest into the hall and out into the kitchen/somewhat presentable living room.

Brian roughly cleared his voice and scowled through the dark before reaching for the lamp pull and tugging it on "Rog- this is the last time you stumble in drunk at two in the fecking mor- Deaky? - wha-wha-wat are you doing? Are you drunk? Wha- Deaky Deacon are you actually drunk?" 

A very ragged and obviously crying John Deacon hastily wiped the tears (salty badges of emotional truth- he jokingly called them once) away with a dirty and bleeding palm of his hand "Wasn't crying -" he muttered to Brian as he sat turned away in profile, sitting cross legged on the coffee table - slowly sipping a melting margarita, Brian came forward "What are you doing Deakes?" "Wha I want-" the distraught bassist slurred "Woof these margaritas are kicking my ass, want one Bri?" Brian gave a look of distaste but said nothing just sat down beside John on the coffee table which flipped sending them and the margarita sprawling on the ground with the ice cold beverage splattered across them but Brian didn't even bat an eye or care at all- all he cared about was that Deaky was - what even was this? Brian curled a hand in John's wiry curls and drew in a breath matched by Deaky's shaky one "You've got margarita in your hair Deak, just there- just thought you should know-"Brian bit his lip nervously and gently turned Deaky to face him "You know Deaky - drinking too many margaritas is liable Te-quila? Get it?" He nudged Deaky in the ribs teasingly and gave his best geeky smile - usually John would rib him back and laugh but tonight - he wasn't -something was clearly not right with John Deacon 

"I'm one drink away from telling everyone how I feel-"

Brian wiped away the last stragglers of John's tears with his thumb "Hey hey- hey Deakes - you okay?" There was a sob then that nearly broke Brian's heart then the story flooded out into the open through choked sobs "Caught Ro-g-er wi--th someone else- had a big fight- he broke up with me- all over-" instantaneous anger at Roger washed over Brian but he mentioned none of this to John - opting to give Deaky a shoulder to cry on and rubbed his back gently holding him against him tightly. 

John settled down in a hiccupy slightly gurgling mess against Brian's chest "Wh-why-" 

Brian cooed at him softly and stroked back his sweeping bangs and long curls, his mother hen instinct instantly being triggered "Why what?" He was confused by the whispered question- alarmed by the tone of sadness and futility in Deaky's voice "Why what Deakes?" Two somber dark hazel eyes met Brian's through his straggly hair "Why does Rog hate me? Why does Freddie have so f-ing many cats?" He gently moved said cat (Delilah) off his aching legs "Why does Paul have to jack the thermostat up to hell hot? Why am I such a fool-" Brian started rocking him "You are not a fool Deakes - you are many things but not a fool- now how are you feeling?" John got up, retrieved a bottle of vodka, and came back to sit beside Brian "I have mixed drinks about feelings- since we're out of mixed drinks though - so - not to get technical but according to chemistry- alcohol is a solution- for feelings, you taught me about chemistry- Freddie and and R-Roger taught me about alcohol, how to drown your pain-" Brian gave a breath "Well - never trust them - you'll end up drunk -" he snatched the bottle of vodka "Give me that- you won't drink another sip-" he tried to smile but couldn't and Deaky grinned softly then his face fell "Like I am now - drunk?" he hiccuped "Bri?" Brian nodded still rubbing John's back "Yes?" "I'm sorry-" Brian raised a questioning eyebrow "Wha-t for?" Deaky drew in a breath "Puking on you-" and he -


	2. You've got to learn to fly, learn to live

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deaky and Brian become better friends

"I'm sorry- sorry-" Deaky lay against the cold marble floor of the bathroom as Brian tore off his shirt and rinsed it off in the low sink "Don't apologize Deak -" five strings of sorrys later Brian bent down and pulled John into a hug "Deaky Deacon you never have to apologize to me you know that- you did nothing wrong-" 

Brian wanted to punch - no - murder Roger Taylor- for what he had - was still doing to the band's bassist- 

He was about to say something when he quickly shoved John's head over the toilet just in time - 

After that he washed the remnants of sick off John's sweaty face, bandaged Deaky's bleeding hand, and carried him to his bedroom where he set John down and wrapped him beside him in his blanket nest then he ran into the kitchen and retrieved a glass of water, running back in he passed it into John's shaking hands and snuggled back next to him "Feeling any better Deakes?" "My head hurts-" He curled closer to Brian "I ha-te Rog-er ri-ght now-" Brian nodded unhappily "Yeah, I'm not too happy with Rog either - gonna have a nice sit down talk with him tomorrow-" 

Falling asleep next to John was nice - the bassist was warm beside him and Brian closed the space between them with hands clasped around John who mmphhed softly into Brian's curls "Bri-" "mmhmmm Deakes?" "Thank you-" Brian closed his eyes and squeezed his friend's shivering form tightly "For what?" "Mmmph - for everything -" Brian smiled against his pillow "You're welcome Deaky... goodnight" John had already fallen into slumber, Brian soon followed him.

Oh would Roger be sorry tomorrow.


	3. Baby, it's all I know that you're half of the flesh and blood that makes me whole

Breakfast was halfway done when Brian staggered sleepily into the upstairs kitchen and gave a coffee cup holding Freddie a half nod between a hello and good morning, he walked to get a cup of coffee, reached out towards the coffee pot, and froze doing a double take "Fr-Fred? Where's the coffee pot?" Freddie held up a smashed piece of metal "Oh you mean this darling? Finally it seems-Rog got to the coffee pot- Roger got to it before we did- seems he got a little angry and just had to deprive us of coffee - I'm happy to share the tea pot with you dears though-"

Brian nodded along without much care "That's very kind of you Fred, anyways, have you seen Rog today?" He was unconsciously wringing a towel out as if he had hold of Roger - 

The blonde made his appearance then with dark sunglasses down over his eyes- he looked groggily at the smashed coffee pot and pointed "I didn't do that-"

Freddie was about to answer when Brian jammed Roger against the wall "Hey! You! Little drummer boy! Oh - am I yelling? Oh yes - I am- oh well- look Rog- you just hurt a good friend of mine- you tore him apart with your little lies- those pretty nothings in his ear - you fucking tore his heart out! Who was it this time Rog? Paul? Freddie? A new conquest? Veronica? Who?"

Deaky slumped into a chair and sighed towards Freddie "Sorry bout the coffee pot-"

Roger slipped out of Brian's death grip and gave a cheeky grin "Told ya it wasn't me that smashed the coffee pot - hey D-" John kicked out at him weakly "Get lost Taylor-" he muttered before getting abruptly up and running towards the cupboard and locking the door- 

"Let us in- Deak, Deaky? John? Let us in please?" It had been hours, he hadn't come out of the cupboard and occasionally choked sobs were heard, Brian and Freddie were on the other side trying to open the door "Deaky Deacon - it's Bri- let me in or I'll get a crowbar and break the door down- now- let me in?" Something slumped against the door and the lock clicked. 

Brian tore the door open and nearly screamed for fear and worry at what he saw-  
"Fred- start the car! Start the car - we need to get Dea-ky to the hospital-" he forced himself to move and swept a unconscious and bleeding John into his shaking arms carrying him like a child to the car muttering with tears in his eyes "You didn't- Deaky you you didn't - you you can't - you didn't - don't you dare don't you dare-" he held him all the way to the hospital with Freddie shrieking in terror like a ambulance siren.

John Deacon woke up in a uncomfortable and unknown bed with a stinging feeling over the tight sutures on his wrists - turning on his side he took in Brian leaning half out of his chair finally asleep- he awoke when John shook his hand gently "H-hey- John-" "Wha happened?" "You passed out- y-you don't remember?" Brian tried yet failed to keep the panic and fear from his voice

John frowned and it hurt - he relaxed against the bed "Just the ambulance-" Brian rolled his eyes at Freddie "There was no ambulance - I took you to the hospital-" John blinked at him without understanding "b-but I heard the sirens" Freddie actually blanched as Brian frowned "That was Freddie-" "Sorry- I was nervous and worried-"

Brian shook his head at John "What the fuck Deaky? What the absolute fuck?" John didn't answer "Where's Ro-ger?" Brian groaned angrily and pointed to Johns right 

"Hey John- babe-" a thoroughly bruised Roger Taylor said from the next bed over - John blinked then scowled "Don't call me babe- and what happened to you?" Roger grimaced and rubbed his arm nervously "Brian happened to me- he kicked my ass after he made sure you weren't gonna bleed out or something-" Roger had a shred of dignity to look sorry but if it was more sorry for himself or Deaky they couldn't tell. 

John turned his aching body to Brian "I'm sorry I caused you heartache with my actions-" Brian stood "Fred, Rog- would you give us a moment? I need to talk to Deaky-" Freddie looked reluctantly back at the door but went out after Roger.   
Brian turned to John who blinked at him with remorseful teary eyes "WHAT THE ABSOLUTE HELL JOHN!? What the hell were you thinking?" Brian found himself to be yelling again and lowered his voice an octave "Why?" John shook his head with tight lips clenched shut "Be-cause-" 

Brian tore at a fingernail nervously "Don't just brush me off John-" Brian never called John by his first name - always opting for the nickname Deaky - it was only in times of trouble that Brian called him John, that got Johns attention and he quieted down "Be-cause-" a breath he drew in was harsh and warm, Brian raised a brow and reached out to take John's hand gently "Because?" He questioned- giving John time to respond 

John shut his eyes tight and breathed in again "Because I don't believe anyone really cares-"


	4. These broken wings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Brian tries to show John that he does care. 
> 
> Roger is Roger.

"Because I believe know-one really cares." "Because I don't believe anyone really cares-" Brian sat there fixating on those words "I don't believe anyone really cares-" Brian shook his head and looked over with withheld worry at the now sleeping John Deacon "I care-" Brian muttered softly as he checked John's sporadic breathing for the hundredth time since they'd arrived at the hospital "You stupid idiot, I care-" Freddie and Roger arrived with Mary and Paul behind them - Rog and Freddie were fighting about something- the old humdrum everyday fights that usually Brian would stay out of - today though was different- today John was in the hospital because of Roger and his antics, yes, it was Rogers fault and usually pacifistic Brian May was anything but as he joined the argument "Y-ou-" he spat out at a sunglass encased Roger "You-" Roger bobbed his head to the beat in his head "Yeah- me?" Brian clenched his fists and flexed them, wanting to strike out at part of Johns problem "Was it worth it? Hurting Deaky? Was it wor-th it? For all this?" He wildly gesticulated "For a fucking one night stand? Wa-s it wor-th it?" Brian bit his lip angrily till it bled a little, the calm Brian they all knew flying straight out the window in his newfound anger "He was so light Fred- so featherlight when I held him, he was so - looked so pale- he looked d- WAS IT WORTH IT ROGER!? Was it fucking worth this?" Another wild gesticulatation towards John sleeping in the bed "He's never done any harm to you - only wanted your love and admiration and you couldn't even damn do that- couldn't even give him that - do you possess any humanity? Is there anything you would not spoil? You say you're a romantic and you're willing to die for love but you know nothing about dying and you know nothing about love! You are a a-" Roger walked out of the room after sending the hospital tray clattering to the linoleum tiles, that woke Deaky and he blinked in confusion "R-og-er was here - I gu-e-ss?" Brian stormed out after Roger "You don't know the first thing about love Roger Taylor!" Roger turned quickly as if he'd strike the tall guitarist "And you do? You think you are the expert on love?" His blonde brows raised and his mouth curled into a smirk - inside though he was freaking out - he'd actually hurt John - no- he'd gone further, he'd been the fuel to the fire that burnt and crumbled their relationship - he'd helped John to - He turned his back on Brian and lit a cigarette with only shaking hands which he hid from his bandmate, he flicked the match into the trash and the plastic smoked and smelled as if it was on fire "I did love him you know - it's just it's hard to be an angel when you're training to be a devil in disguise -" they both frowned at each other "That made no sense- I meant, it's hard to love just one person when there's so many options out there - the worlds like a big buffet Bri-" Brian wanted to punch him "And you want to dip your fingers in every dish? Deaky is not a piece of meat Roger- he's not part of your moronic buffet metaphor- he's a human being not coleslaw that you can share - he's different - sensitive and shy and-" Roger flipped his shades down and stared over them at Brian, a stupid smile alighting on his lips "What Roger? What now?" Brian muttered angrily as Roger laughed softly "You like Deaky don't you? Don't try and tell me you don't Brian- Brian Harold May! You are in love with John Deacon-" a futile "No I'm not- and don't use my middle name like you're my parents or something-" escaped Brian and he sounded like a child caught in a lie. 

"Oh - don't act like such a blushing school girl Bri-" 

Roger just shrugged as Freddie almost magically appeared "Who's in love?" Roger gave a crooked smile and puffed on the cigarette "Wouldn't you like to know-" a break before "Tell you later." 

Freddie smiled then looked at Brian "Deaky is wondering where you are- says he wants to talk-" 

Brian walked back down the hall and entered the sparse hospital room "H-hey Brian-" Deaky muttered a little softly as Brian sat beside him on the squeaking bed "Hey Deaky- how do you feel?" Brian tried to keep his voice steady but it shook a little- there was a great pause before Deaky began "Like my heads on fire and everything doesn't make sense-" he stopped briefly and Brian nodded "That would be the alcohol you had last night- you drank quite a lot-" he settled on the bed and crossed his hands in his lap looking down at them blankly "I - I was worried Deaky- you really worried us -" he glanced sideways at John "And I know you feel like we don't care- but- no - let me speak- I know you feel like we don't care about you but it is completely the opposite- it couldn't be further from the truth- you are family and if you're hurting we're all hurting okay? Okay?" John turned away from him and Brian scrunched up his nose in distress - his friend wasn't listening, Brian bit his lip "John, I don't know and won't try to pretend that I know what is happening with you- I can't really understand but if you let me I can be there- here - for you-" "please let me?" He wanted to plead - John lifted a arm from over his face and turned back to Brian "That- that doesn't make much difference but thank you all the same Bri-" he muttered brokenly as he sat up next to the worried guitarist who nudged his shoulder lightly with his "If you need anything Jo-hn I'll be there- I promise- and Fred and Miami of course." John gave a soft nod and leaned against Brian's shoulder. 

Brian stared blankly down at the bandages around John's wrists and he shook his head before choking on tears he'd been holding back tightly in his throat "Don't yo-u- ever- don't you-" John closed the space between them and hugged him before looking around the white walled sterile room "What do you say about getting out of here ehhh?" He glanced sideways at a furiously sniffling Brian and felt a wave of guilt wash over him - he could see it had affected Brian the most, he bit his lip and absentmindedly brushed Brian's wrist with his fingertips "We could do something fun- we could go to the beach-" Brian chuckled slightly "I'm not a person for sitting on beaches. What would I do?" John gave a quick smile "Collect sea shells? Chase seagulls?" Brian shrugged "I usually go stargazing or to museums-" 

John stood up eagerly "Then let us go to a museum - you drive- I just gotta get out of this madhouse- the walls are soooo white-" Brian stretched and nodded just as eagerly then frowned "You won't stop me talking about thi-s though -" John shrugged noncommittally "Just drive won't you?"


	5. Well if you told me you were drowning, I would lend a hand to pull you back

"You know- Einstein got most of the things right about black holes. I'm not an expert, I must admit." Brian muttered eagerly as he inspected a miniature model of the inner workings of a black hole - turning sideways now and again to catch the glint of the lights against John's waves of hair and his beautiful eyes - the sequenced lights making him look rather angelic "Makes you wonder though-" Brian turned sideways to stare at John with curiosity "What?" John scrunched up his nose in a real cute way as thought creased his brow "if our lives are as dark and empty as space -" 

Brian closed his eyes then fluttered his eyelashes in confusion "You know-" he steered John towards the planetarium "Space isn't actually empty Deaky-" John managed to give Brian a cheeky winning smile "Why oh why did I take you to a museum? It's like I've got my own tour guide or something-" "Aren't you lucky-" Brian finished pulling Deaky into the planetarium and pointed eagerly at everything he could - he explained everything too and his eyes shone with interest - John was trapped by Brian's knowledge and the way the lights made Brian look - 

John leaned in closer without realising till his nose bumped into Brian's and the other young man looked shocked and jolted out of his lecture on the objects found in space "Oh- Deaky- ummmm-" John pointed to Brian's face "Y-you had ink on your nose - I was going to get it off for you - really Bri - you should use another pen - yours leaks which can't be good for Miami's furniture-" Brian nodded agreement then stuffed his hands into his faded jean pockets "So, what are you doing tomorrow? Apart from practicing with the band? You alright to face Rog? Sorry for bringing it up- we don't have to talk about it if you don't want to-" 

John sobered a little and hunched "hmmmm - I'll probably make loads of plans, and then just sit around on my bottom all day long and do nothing, you? Oh and it's okay- doesn't really matter- I mean the only thing that is hopefully good about us is after the arguments we can actually still face each other the next day or the day after and talk about something else and sort of get over it - Lot's of marriages don't last as long as Queen have been together, we have our ups and downs, but we're all very up at the moment, four personalities are bound to clash and well - arguments are healthy right? They clear the air? Maybe Rog and- may-be - Ro-g--er and I are just two clashing personalities." He blankly stared up at the planetary diagrams and what not "I'll be fine Bri- it was ju-s- it was just a shock that's all- seeing them-" Brian leaned against the wall "Who was it Deak? With Rog? Who was it?" John shrugged and looked at his feet "Just some guy- anyway- let's go find something else to stare at- here I'll buy us lunch - I've always been accused of being a bit tight with money, it's actually a fact but I can at least buy a friend lunch-"

"That first bass I had was an Eko, a very old thing with a thin neck, I had that for quite a while." They'd found a table at a small cafe down the street and had taken refuge at a table as it started to rain and they had started talking - finding out more things about each other they had never known and Brian held off from lecturing John about what had happened - and they laughed till they cried. 


	6. With my own two eyes

"Pluto is not a planet-" John stated as he walked backwards in front of a rather animated Brian - he said that without really believing it because he really just wanted to see Brian May's furious and adorable frustration and the blush of fury that would go down his face usually starting on the very tip of his nose - and John wasn't unhappy to see it had worked "You take that back you motherfu-" they entered the recording studio to find Freddie having a little moment with - Delilah a favorite cat of his - John groaned and Brian just grimaced "Fred - you got to stop bringing your cats to the recording studio - and we should have a intervention about this - Fred you've started to -" John stopped him short by taking Brian's elbow "Not today Bri- please? Some other time maybe?" Brian nodded softly "Okay Deaky- okay - for you -" he smiled at him "And Pluto is totally a planet you ass-" Deaky shrugged off his jacket "I know - I just wanted to make you blush- you look so adorable when you blush with fury-" Brian laughed and nudged John before turning back to Freddie "So- Fred, what are we going to do about R-O-G-E-R?" John rolled his eyes as he fought with his jacket "I can fucking spell Bri-" Brian blinked then smiled at Freddie whilst rolling his eyes dramatically "Just checking that the school systems or your family haven't failed you in not being able to spell," there was a loud thump from behind him "Deaky!? What was that?" John groaned softly "Oh my jacket fell-" Miami walked in and frowned "It sounded a lot louder than a jacket- I am so glad you are okay John-" Brian turned to find John sprawled against the Deaky amp he had made - he was blushing tremendously "Yeah, well- I was in it when it fell-" Brian helped him up and steadied him - helping him out of his jacket "Be a little more careful next time Deaky- please?" John hadn't let go of Brian's hand and clung to it as if he was a drowning man in a large ocean of emotions - he gave a slight forced grin "I will - promise-" they quickly pinky sweared just because. 

After a moment Roger slunk in with sunglasses on and a nasty hangover - he apologized and haphazardly fell onto the couch - sprawled out there and trying to exsude raw babe appeal, he smiled at Brian "What'd I miss?" John chucked a pillow at him before depositing himself beside Brian "You'd know if you were here- Fred was basically having a moment with Delilah here- we need to have a intervention - and I wrote a new song-" Roger tried to fake that everything was normal - back to where he'd left it the hour before John had found him with someone else - when John was still that block that he could lean upon for stability - his rock in the ever changing world in which they lived in - if he could have - he would have turned back time - never asked Paul Prenter to his room after recording sessions - but the damage had been done and he was experiencing the unplanned for fallout. 

Roger shrugged "I happen to like being a little late- makes me unpredictable -" he was Roger and so he winked causing John to bite his lip angrily and nod "Yes- you are unpredictable - unpredictable only to me- I guess I was naive yes? Well-" he muttered and involuntarily brushed Brian's hand in the process of getting up "I won't be naive anymore will I?" Roger shrugged "I wouldn't know would I? I thought you made a sport of being naive-" John sniffed "And you make sport of breaking people's hearts - why don't you just go away and fuck your car - cause I know you are as your stupid song said In love with your car-" Freddie stepped forward quickly "Why don't you read us your new song Deaky dear?" He shook his head "I'm going to take a walk-" he left, leaving the pages of his new song beside Brian in his haste to flee the room.

Miami sighed and rubbed his head "Why is it when I find out there is trouble in the band do I always find you in the very middle of it - Roger?"  
Roger pulled a cheeky face "Just in the wrong place at the wrong time I guess-" he stuck a lollipop in his mouth and leaned back against the cushions while sucking on it - Brian bit his lip angrily "I hope you choke on that Roger- I hope you-" his hand scrunched around coarse pieces of paper and he looked down to find the lyrics to John's new song - 'I Want to Break Free-" Brian scanned the lyrics and his eyes widened with surprise - the lyrics were beautiful - the meaning of the song clearly found and terribly profound   
"Hey Freddie listen to this - I want to break free   
I want to break free  
I want to break free from your lies  
You're so self satisfied I don't need you  
I've got to break free  
God knows, God knows I want to break free  
I've fallen in love  
I've fallen in love for the first time  
And this time I know it's for real  
I've fallen in love, yeah  
God knows, God knows I've fallen in love  
It's strange but it's true, yeah  
I can't get over the way you love me like you do  
But I have to be sure  
When I walk out that door  
Oh, how I want to be free, baby  
Oh, how I want to be free  
Oh, how I want to break free  
But life still goes on  
I can't get used to living without, living without  
Living without you by my side  
I don't want to live alone, hey  
God knows, got to make it on my own  
So baby can't you see  
I've got to break free  
I've got to break free  
I want to break free, yeah  
I want, I want, I want, I want to break free  
\- Deaky wrote this - and and here's the sheet music for everyone - it's really good- hey Rog- here's the lines about you - I want to break free from your lies, You're so self satisfied I don't need you- " Roger growled angrily but didn't say anything for a moment then he smiled with a acidic teasing gleam in his eyes "And I guess you're praying the 'I've fallen in love, fallen in love for the first time' lyrics are about you yes?" 

Brian was caught off guard and spluttered in surprise but Roger kept shooting his pretty petty little mouth off "As I seem to recall didn't you take your last date to the planetarium in that same museum you took Deaky today?" Blonde eyebrows raised

Brian growled "Go screw your car" he stated before he stomped out of the room and slammed the door much less than he wanted to - 

Roger frowned and sucked his cherry lollipop while lighting a cigarette "I believe that's going to be a recurring come back with me - why does everyone tell me to go fu-c-k my car? It's not like I'm in love with her or anything -" Miami shook his head softly "Roger - you wrote a song called 'I'm in love with my car'"

Coming back from both of their walks, Brian and John met and silently walked back together with fingers brushing together slightly as they walked along in the darkness of their thoughts  


At practice the next day Roger threw a drumstick at Brian and Brian snapped and tackled him - Freddie just stood in the middle of it with Miami and Deaky who looked surprised and smug a little? 

"Boys boys - you're both pretty - can we go home now?" Freddie muttered loudly as Brian almost got a drumstick up his left nostril and Roger sustained a pinch to the face. 

It took Miami and the others a whole five minutes to pull them apart and John was the one who finally pulled Brian away by his collar and whispered softly in his ear while cleaning a cut up with vodka "I'm glad you gave him a bruise at least- thank you Brian-" Brian had laughed and nodded "You are most welcome Deaky-"


	7. Fallen in love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A f-ing happy chapter for once

A Month or Two Later ~

"If coffee isn't made within the next five minutes I'm going to scream you wankers!" Roger screamed in the corner as he stumbled into the room, an imprint of his pillow still gleaming on his cheek and cigarette ash on his face and around his lips as if he'd been smoking while he fell asleep - he'd almost lit his bed on fire once and would have if not for Deaky waking quickly in the room next door, running in, and rolling Roger from the smoking sheets.

But now Roger was dating someone else and everything had gone back to normal - it had taken a while though, lots of fights, drama - Roger being Roger- etc. but they'd done it step by step and together -

Brian who was up and mixing pancake batter rolled his eyes and swatted Roger's meddling hands away from the new coffee pot and the pancake batter "You're already screaming Rog- now fuck off -" "Ooh ooh, cheeky you bastard- you kiss Deaky with that mouth? Ha! Ha!" Roger shrugged Brian's cursing off and sat down before getting up, stealing Brian's coffee, and running for his life - 

A bleary eyed John staggered in still wrapped in a blanket and ruffled with his beautiful hair sticking up at all angles - he scowled after Roger and yelled something he would regret a little later - he turned to Brian "when crows remember people who wronged them and hold grudges, it’s ‘intelligent’ and ‘really cool’ but when I do it I’m ‘petty’ and ‘need to move on’." he smiled softly at Brian "Happy Valentine's Day yesterday Bri - I was extremely kissable yesterday and do you know how many kisses I received???" Brian grinned fondly at him "How many Deaks?" John sat on the counter top swinging his legs back and forth as he watched Brian artistically pour the pancake batter in the buttered pan "Zero- ZERO Brian- and I was extremely kissable- yesterday- also- I’ve been dropping the guy I like the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now." Brian nodded as he flipped a pancake and looked sideways at him "And?" John frowned "No response." Brian whistled and rubbed through his his disheveled curls "Wow. He sounds stupid." He watched John's lips turn up in a small grin and his face went red "But he’s not. He is really smart actually. Just dense." Brian flipped another pancake and bit his lip gently "Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know…" “Hey! I like you!” John bobbed his head quickly to his friends words "I guess you’re right…" Brian smiled and winked "I'm never wrong-" John laughed "That's debatable- but I won't challenge it-" another pancake flipped expertly "I'd like that-" John took a deep breath and exhaled the words "Hey, Brian! I like you." 

Brian nodded and threw out his arms "See? Just say that!" John facepalmed in disbelief "You can’t be fucking serious?" Brian shrugged - surprised by Johns reaction "If that flies over his head then, sorry Deaky, but he is too dumb for you, he doesn't deserve a Angel like you-" John set his head on his hands which were spread on the table- his long hair hiding his face from view "Stop just sto-p-"

Brian bit his lip nervously "Sooooooo what about today Deaky?" Deaky looked confused and raised his eyebrows quizzically "Mmhmmmm? What?" Brian leaned forward over the counter and slid John a plate of pancakes with orange marmalade before finding his lips brushing like a butterfly kiss against John's soft quaking lips-

He pulled himself away quickly and stuttered "I I'm sorry- so sorry - must've tripped against the counter - or - you do like marmalade right?" Deaky blinked at him and frantically nodded with his mouth clenched shut before he swallowed the lump of pancake in his throat and swiftly brushed his fingers against Brian's, like he could care less about the marmalade - had Brian just kissed him? "I uhhhh yessss I do like marmalade thanks-" John took a deep breath "Please - please don't apologize for something that was not a accident -" Brian shook his head "I oh look at the time - I should go wake Fred befor---" John's lips met his and his mind buzzed with thought then went blank and he leaned up to press closer.

After a moment Brian pulled away reluctantly and blinked "Y-you meant to do that didn't you?" John gave him a eager grin "Of course I did -" he rubbed a hand through his hair "Or I might've tripped on something nonexistent-" Brian flushed red with surprise "Oh-" he cursed as he smelled burning pancake and rescued the next batch from the hot pan listening to Deaky humming 'You're My Best Friend' contentedly as he watched Brian and ate his marmalade pancakes "Hey - Bri?" "Mhmmmm?" Brian flipped a pancake "Want to go back to the planetarium we visited before?" Brian turned quickly and was met by a angelic smile from John- he nodded and his face broke into a smile "Yes- I would love that-" John tried to wink but failed "It's a date then-" he finished the first marmalade pancake and licked his lips "You make the best pancakes Bri - and you're a pretty adequate kisser as well -" Brian laughed "Pretty adequate my ass you twit - I wrote the book on kissing - I could teach you a thing or two -" John wiggled his brows "Oh oh oh - please do?" This time he managed a wink.

"Bri- you've got pancake batter on your shirt -" Brian laughed out of breath and exceptionally happy "And you have marmalade in your hair-" John laughed as well and curled next to the guitarist "Really- I'm the happiest I've been in years so frankly I don't really care right now- I I lo--v-e you--r pancakes - your pancakes-" Brian chuckled "Why thank you - I'm glad someone loves my pancakes like that - and - I love you too-" 


	8. Can't get over the way you love me like you do"

Two Months Later ~ 

It had taken Brian two months more to finally gather the courage to ask Deaky out.

"Fucking finally Brian - I thought you'd never get my slow tricks of seduction -" John muttered as he watched Brian drive - Brian who looked confused "Seduction tricks? What? When?" John nodded quickly "Yeah- I don't slow disco dance up to just anyone Brian - for goodness sake- and when have you ever known me to disco dance to 'I Just Want to Be Your Everything'? Granted it's a good song but not really a fave-" Brian smiled softly and kept driving 

They'd spent two hours at the planetarium together - it was one of Brian's favorite places and John didn't mind the dark rooms with the planet diagrams and what not - it gave him a chance to hold Brian's hand more

"Stop the car!? Stop the car?" Brian tapped the break and the car stopped quickly jolting both back and forth- Brian turned quickly sideways to look at John "What the hell was that for!? For fecks sake John!!!!" John slid over the divider and sat straddling and face to face with Brian who blinked and felt color rise in his cheeks, John shook his head "I couldn't stop the feeling that I just needed to kiss you - that's all-" Brian groaned "I stopped the car for this? That's all?" His smile betrayed him and he pressed his lips to John's with a sigh of satisfaction and a smile on his lips.

They got back from the planetarium in record time and entered the recording room minutes later laughing and holding hands happily - 

Freddie was animatedly talking to Miami and Paul and Roger was slumped in the armchair, head tilted in sleep, John bent over him and shook him "Wake the fuck up Roger-" Roger jumped then sighed "No need to call me names Deaky - I'm many things but never a fuck up-" John rolled his eyes "Oh good- I'm glad you think that-" he retrieved his bass while Roger leaned back in the chair "What's that mean then?" He asked acidicly "What it says on the package-" Deaky snarked at him as he wiped off his bass "Also, you've lost Deaky rights and privileges Taylor - you can't call me Deaky or Deakes or Deacy or Deak ever again - you can call me John or Mr. Deacon, so there" Roger groaned and crossed his arms "So it's to be that way now? Yes? That way? Again?" Roger frowned and sat up "Really Dea-" John shot him the Deacon Death Glare none usually saw "Don't-" he stared back at Roger "Oh, and also Rog- that's my ex-girlfriend you're fucking - in the bedroom next door - next door to my bedroom-" he then turned to Brian "Ready Freddie?" He asked as he strummed his bass and slipped the strap over a shoulder, Freddie who was staring at his now ex-boyfriend, Paul, of a couple minutes turned and nodded "Just one moment my dears- Roger- are you aware that Paul and I were dating? Actually, we are currently dating- did you know that or did it slip your mind?" Roger blinked and Freddie continued "And so, let's set the stage dears, Roger then was dating Deaky, I was dating Paul, Brian wasn't dating anyone-" Brian groaned and rubbed through his curls "Did you have to bring that up Fred? Was it absolutely necessary?" Freddie went on "Since it may have slipped your memory- dear Rog, Deaky has feelings just like the rest of us humans- don't you Deaky darling?" John fidgeted with his bass guitar "It's a given Fred" "We-ll grand, we've determined everyone on the planet has feelings - as I was saying- Deaky, your boyfriend Rog- caught you in the act with my then boyfriend - and you hurt him- so- you want your fifty-cents Bri? You keep looking like you dreadfully must say something-" Brian bit his lip "Nah Fred, go on - I was just thinking that I'd love to bruise Roger up a little- for hurting my boyfriend-" Roger blinked at Brian "Y-your boyfriend?" John went red but his chest puffed out with pride and he bobbed his head "Yeah-" he almost whispered through a wide grin "Boyfriend-" Miami smiled "Well that's new-" John nodded "Mmhmmm-" Freddie laughed and hugged John and Brian "Finally-" Roger only glared and stomped off to lock himself in the cupboard. 

Everyone was quiet for a moment before John huffed out a groan through his gritted teeth and stomped out to the cupboard door muttering something about Roger being such a "Idiot of elephantine proportions-" and- he slunk down outside the door "Roger Meddows Taylor - come out of that closet right now-" he heard a sniff from inside and rolled his eyes feeling bad internally for Roger but having no intention of showing it outside "It's just like what you did when 'I want to fuck my car' came out and you pitched a strop if it didn't get the B-side with BoRhap," Roger's muffled voice huffed through the door "That wasn't the title of my song - it was 'I'm in lo-" "I'm in love with my car- yes! Yes Roger! I know! That's beside the point-" he heard Roger sneeze and bit his lip softly "Rog- come out before your dust mite allergy gets worse than it already is?" "I'm not a-choo- I'm not talking to you wankers ever again -" John rolled his eyes "Roger I have two words for you-" Roger scowled "No-" John bit back a smile "Knock knock-" "Who's there!?" came the answer and Roger couldn't resist swinging open the door- he then realized his mistake "Fu-c-" John didn't waste any time and grabbed him roughly by one arm and the scruff of his neck and pulled him from the cupboard quickly while he kicked the door shut with a well aimed kick "Roger Meddows Taylor! You are acting like a chi- ouch! Rog! Let go!? You're acting like a child!"

Brian walked into the fray right as Roger forced a kiss on John.

John who had been stunned into immobility by the sudden and surprise kiss attack glanced from Brian to Roger then back to a scowling yet somber Brian who finally spoke "S-so it's to be that way right?" John frowned- what in the world was Brian talking about? "What?" Brian who was more hurt than he let show spat down "You go back to Roger and I go back to being alone again -" he started off and John staggered up, aiming a frantic kick at a less than triumphant triumphant Roger, and followed him almost tripping on his heels and grabbing for Brian's hand "Bri- it wasn't like that- it wasn't! He kissed me but but - Brian- please? Brian-" Brian was already gone.


	9. Back Chat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A sad chapter before we get back to the good

Roger Taylor was having a rough day and John Deacon was having none of it, nor was Brian May, Brian May who kept ignoring the other two - Brian May who had also had a rough night. 

Upon reflection late last night as he walked quickly into a pub for a slow drink of regret and sorrow - his stomach had tightened into knots and he hid his head in his hands against the wood table which gave off the smell of fish and chips and vinegar - he'd made John Deacon cry - he'd hurt him - hur-t him- not even tried to listen, his beer, a tall Guinness, came and he chugged it down while tears fell into the glass.

He'd done the one thing he'd never wanted to do - hurt Deaky Deacon and now- 

Coming home much later he'd slogged through drumsticks and a smashed drum set and tripped over a beautiful bass guitar before finally finding himself in bed - he had slid in fully clothed to find a warm body waiting for him - John - Brian kissed his forehead gently

"Oh- I - I'm glad you're home- I'm no-t - lo-ve wi Roger by the way-" John muttered as he came awake slowly

Brian set the smashed bass on John's lap "What happened here Deaky? You okay? It looked like a war zone down there-" John nodded "I smashed Roger's kit- I said I didn't love him anymore and he grabbed my bass so I smashed his kit- but it'll be okay - I'll just have to save up for another bass- " he stretched "You still mad at me?" Brian was about to answer when an ice cold foot rubbed against his leg "Damnit Deaky- get your feet over here- they're so cold- where's your socks?" John struggled closer "Brian?" "I'm not mad at you- I'm mad at Roger-" 

A voice sighed in the corner "Still mad at me then? Why's it always me? And I suspect Deaky's a perfect angel yes?" Brian quickly switched on the light and scowled "Get out- get out Roger- now-" Roger shrugged and leaned back in the armchair "Deaky's here- why can't I be?" John chucked a pillow at him

One yelling match later Brian threw both young men out - Deaky having stood up for Roger and Brian not wanting any of it- the excuses. Brian turned into his covers while John knocked futilely on the door, Brian shoved a pillow over his head as high angry voices met his ears. 

Brian woke up the next day with the feeling that nothing good had come of last night - shivering in his pajama bottoms he roughly tugged on a shirt and in his bare feet walked to the door and opened it, a startled yet sleepy John lay curled and shivering before the door with a messy head of hair and a bruise on his cheek, he blinked up at Brian who stepped over him and went down the stairs before rolling his eyes and going back up the stairs, going into his room, and coming out with a blanket which he dropped on John "Were you here all bloody night John?" He asked with a anger he didn't really feel- the anger ebbed away "Wrap up John- we don't want you to die of a draft do we?" He blinked and fluttered his eyelashes "Were you sleeping on that cold floor the whole night Dea- John?" John blinked up at him before nodding softly with a tilt of his head "I- Bri- I'm so -" "I don't want to hear it- just just get up-" John stiffly tried to get up - his muscles aching from the cold and hard floor - Brian scowled and bit his lip - he was being unkind - villainously so - he bent down and scooped John into his arms, carrying him back into his room "You shouldn't have done that-" John shivered in his thin shirt "You wouldn't let me in- what was I -sposed to do?" Brian furrowed his brow "Maybe go and sleep in your bed-" he stated before unceremoniously dropping John on the mattress and watching him bounce before finally coming to rest on it- he moved John under the covers and squeezed his hand "I'm going to make you a cup of tea- I'll be back soon- don't wait up-" he muttered to a already sleeping John. 

Brian went downstairs and started making tea. 

"Morning Darling -" muttered a wide eyed and bushy tailed Freddie as he sat at the table with a new song write in front of him which he held out to Brian "Deaky wrote this about you - he turned it over last night so I could study the lyrics- we had a long talk and he almost left the band last night -" Brian was completely caught off guard and surprised 

He frowned as his eyes scanned the paper and found a letter about him in the pages - the words hurt as did the lyrics - 

'Yeah  
Get back get back  
Back chat back chat  
You burn all my energy  
Back chat back chat  
Criticizing all you see  
Back chat, back chat  
Analyzing what I say  
Back chat, back chat  
And you always get your way  
Oh yeah! See what you've done to me  
Back chat, back chat  
It's driving me insane  
Survival to the end  
Knock you down, you come again  
Talk back, talk back  
You've got me on the wrack  
Twisting ev'ry word I say  
Wind me up and get your way  
Fat chance I have of making a romance  
If I'm ever goin' to win  
Have to get the last word in  
Take it from there  
Twisting ev'ry word I say, Huh!  
Wind me up and let me play  
Back chat, back chat  
You burn all my energy  
Back chat, back chat  
Criticizing all you see  
Back chat, back chat  
Analyzing what I say  
Back chat, back chat  
And you always get your way  
Come on now  
Wake up, stand up  
And drag yourself on out  
Get down, get ready  
Scream and shout  
Back off me, be cool  
And learn to change your ways  
'Cause you're talking in your sleep  
And you're walking in a daze  
Don't push your luck  
I'm ready to attack  
'Cause when I'm trying to talk to you  
All you do is just talk back  
You stand so tall you don't frighten me at all  
Don't talk back, don't talk back  
Don't talk back just leave me alone  
Back chat, back chat  
You burn all my energy  
Back chat, back chat  
Criticizing all you see  
Back chat, back chat  
Analyzing what I say  
Back chat, back chat  
And you always get your way  
Yes you do  
Yes you do baby  
Come on back chat, back chat  
Back chat, back chat  
Back chat, back chat  
Go for it, go for it, go for it baby  
Back chat, back chat  
You're giving me the runaround  
Criticizing (oh yeah), analyzing (oh yeah)  
Yeah merci beaucoup  
Get on down...' 

Brian blinked - is that what John thought of him? Really thought? 

"Ahhhhh Brian dear - I think the waters already overbowled dear-" Brian burnt his hand trying to move the tea pot off the flame, he cursed and was about to ask for a med kit when a hand slunk around his waist and the other grabbed his wrist and pulled the burn under a stream of cold water before administering burn cream and a bandage, never moving his other arm protectively from around Brian's waist - Brian turned to find himself staring at a blurry faced blanket wearing John who looked immensely worried- he let go of Brian then poured three cups of tea and let them soak, bobbing the tea bags up and down absentmindedly. 

Brian gulped and wrapped his arms around John hugging him tightly and burying his head on John's shoulder "I'm sorry-" he took in the bruise on John's face and blinked- anger resurfacing "Did Roger do that to you!?" He traced the bruise with his fingertips- John rubbed the sleep from his eyes "I don't want to hear it- I don't want to hear I'm sorry- and yes he did but he was rather drunk- now if you'll excuse me-" he shoved a cup of tea into Brian's chest and hands then set a cup of tea in front of Freddie "Morning Fred-" John said as he picked up Miko, yet another of Freddie's cats, while Romeo, Delilah, and the rest meowed under and around his feet almost tripping him up as he started to walk away with Miko bundled in his arms, Delilah at his heels. 

Brian watched him go with a sadness in the pit of his stomach, tears welled at the corners of his eyes and he sighed taking a sip of the tea - he sighed softly, Deaky always had a way of making the tea taste heavenly- it tasted bitter when Roger walked in, he banged the cup down on the countertop and scowled at Roger "What the hell did you do?" Roger smothered the smile he had and frowned questioningly "Excuse me? What?" "You heard me-" 


	10. Anyway the wind blows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger feels bad about what he's done 
> 
> Brian tries to make up with John 
> 
> Freddie thinks John would be a little better with a companion 
> 
> Brian gets Deaky a gift. 
> 
> John is having a terrible time. 
> 
> (I swear this will be happy- after Rog, Bri, and Deaky get their acts together- mostly Rog though)

John was lying in the barns hay loft with Delilah on his chest, contentedly purring, when Brian entered and reluctantly sat down in the hay below the loft careful not to get stabbed by a wayward twig, he cleared his throat "John- I know-" the rooster crowed so loud and long that most of Brian's speech was unheard -

"What were you saying?" John asked sarcastically grinning to himself as he flipped onto his stomach and peaked through a crack in the floorboards down at an obviously unhappy Brian who cleared his throat again and licked his lips nervously "John-" another crow of the rooster made Brian curse "Can't bloody blooming think here- John - I'm coming up and don't try to escape through the hayloft door- it's two stories up - you could get hurt-" he carefully climbed the ladder and found John staring at him softly "John, i know now you weren't- aren't to blame for Roger's actions- and I'm sorry I kicked you into the hall last night - I was a tad drunk and I was angry at Rog but I shouldn't have taken it out on you," John laughed "Brian Harold May, drunk!? Never- never in my life-" he smiled cheekily at Brian who took a deep breath and stumbled on "What I'm trying to say is tha-" his words were cut short by John who jumped forward onto his feet and placed his lips on Brian's "I want to apologize as well-" his eyes frowned up at Brian "Please let me? Please let me be beside you everyday?" Brian nodded slowly and a bright grin crossed his face "Deaky- I love you-" Delilah pawed at John's pant leg and they both laughed "I think she's jealous - you've got competition Bri-" he drew a quick breath and pulled Brian down a little so he could reach his ear "I love you too and I'm sorry- I'm so sorry-" Brian kissed him again

When John finally arrived back in his room he found a package laying over his bed- the wrapping was carefully wrapped so it must be from- had to be from Brian - Roger wouldn't care if it looked good - Freddie always made a chaotically beautiful mess of it-

John carefully tore off the packaging after quickly changing his shirt and gasped- inside the packaging lay a navy blue bass guitar and a letter stuck between the strings, he smiled as did the bright tortoise shell cat snuggled into a ball on his pillow - a new cat that definitely wasn't any of Fred's "Fred!?" He yelled questioningly and Freddie entered with a smile "Yes Deaky?" John pointed to the cat "What- who is this?" Fred laughed "Your new companion- thought you might be ever so lonely- happy birthday-" John frowned "But Fred it's not my birthday till -" Freddie left before he could finish and John collected the cat in his arms and smiled "I'm calling you Bismillah-" he ran to thank Brian for the present and show off his new companion.

"Brian this is Bismillah, well say hello." Brian smiled but didn't say hello "I'm more of a dog person-" "Pish posh you are- you are nothing of the sort-" Freddie muttered as he came into the kitchen for one of John's famous butter sandwiches "Ahhh Deaky dear what did you name him?" John gave a wide smile "Bismillah actually-" Freddie grinned "Bismillah eyyyy? What a handsome boy he is and with that name- Bismillah- seems Delilah here will have competition now -" "What the bloody hell made up word is that- Bismill-ah?" Roger asked as he traipsed in with his girlfriend Veronica - John's ex ex-girlfriend and almost fiancée. 

John pet the cat's fur gently and said to him "That's a good boy, attack Roger - it's not a made up word Rog- it is Arabic for 'In the name of god' I thought it would be a fun name regardless the meaning- anyway-" Roger shoved his hands in his pockets "Deaky- I'm very sorry for the way I acted towards you and Brian - and I'm terribly sorry-" John widened his eyes "Who the hell are you and what'd you do with the Roger we all know? Our Roger never apologizes-" he drew a breath "Apology accepted Rog-" Roger nodded then messed up again "You do know it wasn't all my fault though - don't you?"

Brian was in his room busy keeping his hands moving because if he didn't he would definitely want to go downstairs and ring Roger Taylor's neck because that's how mad usually peaceful Brian had been made by Taylor's words. 

The pleasant conversation had turned to yelling after Roger had made the mistake of saying his mistakes weren't all his- that John had had a hand in it too- there was a knock on the door and Brian didn't turn to see who it was- from the way the door wasn't thrown open to dazzle everyone with Freddie's entrance or knocked off the hinges like Roger sometimes did - judging by how the door slowly opened and the pleasant knock on the door- it was John- 

"Bri-" he was sniffling something awful and wrapped his arms around Brian carefully "Brian are you alright?" John pressed a soft kiss to his neck and stayed in silence till Brian spoke "I'm thinking of leaving the band-"

John was severely taken aback at those words and shook his head frantically "No- please Brian d-don't do that? Please don't go - don't lea-ve- we need you- I need you-" he wrapped his arms tighter around Brian who stood abruptly and shook his head, his face pale and sad yet determined - John looked about the room and his eyes widened with surprise "Y-you're already packed-" Brian nodded "I'm sorry-" he grabbed his kit and left - 

John jumped up from the bed and ran after him almost falling down the stairs and knocking Roger down in his haste to get to Brian "Wait!? Wait!? Brian please!? You can't! Queen'll be nothing without you! Life doesn't mean anything if you're not here! Brian - Brian-" John stood outside as rain pattered down and watched the cab drive away with Brian staring blankly out the back window - John stood there after the last screech of the tires faded, stood like a lost child and cried - the rain soaking his hair, plastering it to his face, and the north wind chilling him to the core, he was lost staring after the cars tracks in the sludge.

Hours later it seemed, a shadow passed behind him and wrapped a jacket around his shaking drenched shoulders "Go away Fred-" "It isn't Fred-" Miami answered and steered John inside to the roaring fireside "Sit-" Miami demanded and set John down in a high backed armchair "Freddie make tea- Roger fetch a blanket- Veronica- Mary, please run and get John a dry pair of clothes?" He motioned upstairs and started having Mary dry John's straggly hair while John incoherently spluttered "Come back? Pl-please come back? Please- Bri- come back- you forgot me- you packed everything important to you but you forgot me- come back- pl-plea-se come back?"


	11. No I'll never find me an answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John goes to get Brian back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooooo I know Joe Mazzello who plays John Deacon in Bohemian Rhapsody screams a lot and it's slightly funny-  
> So I just had to incorporate that here with John's character.

Brian May was having a terrible time at home - he'd arrived back in Hampton late, and having been kicked out of his dorm, he drove to his parents house, and had been subjected to a terrible cross examination by his mother and father who really just wanted to help he knew but he wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone- the next day he'd slept in till he was startled out of bed by the backfiring of a car and realized he was late for his Astrophysics class and that was the pattern that kept happening a month later when his mother woke him with the words "Darling- there's a young man downstairs saying he knows you? He has a terribly strange name - Diggy or Deagy or something like that- I offered him a waffle and some orange juice and he seems to need it - he says he's come to see you and apologize-" upon hearing that Brian shot out of bed bleary eyed "What did you say his name was?" His mother furrowed her brow in thought "Deaky, that's it- his name is Deaky - nice young man- he's been sick lately- though- nasty chill -" Brian dressed and went downstairs awkwardly to find John sitting at the kitchen table with half a waffle sticking out of his mouth while he licked syrup from the tips of his fingers and read the newspaper - Brian watched him for what seemed the longest time - watched the little bit of syrup on the others chin hang there wondering when it would find it's way to Deaky's horrible shirt, he cleared his throat "Brian Harold May - would you please stop staring?" Brian sat down at the other end of the small table "M-my mother tells me you've been sick lately Deaky?" Brian muttered in worry and watched John nod, eyes not leaving the newspaper "I was sick a month ago if anyone cares- terrible rainstorm and everything- but that's what you get for waiting in the rain and watching someone you love drive away forever- out of your life but oh well- good riddance- it was stupid of me but I've learned now-" Brian felt guilt rise in him and he slowly grabbed John's hand that rested on the tabletop "I hadn't any clue I meant so much to you Deaky-" Brian's mother dropped another waffle onto John's plate and slid a plate to Brian "Deaky- Deaky I'm so so sorry-" John shrugged "You left me-" he glanced over the paper with sad eyes "You were everything to me and you you just left me- and with those two to boot- Mr. Cat man and the incredibly stupid man child-" Brian couldn't hold back a snort at that "You weren't just something to me you were everything Brian and and-" Brian squeezed his hand tightly "You are still everything to me John- it has not changed-" John smiled softly "Not with me either- it hasn't changed with me either, not a bit- and and seeing you now sets everything right-"

Brian smiled happily then squeezed John's hand tightly "I'm glad you came to see me-" John shook his head "No- I came to get you- Fred and Paul decided after a month that Queen needed a new guitarist and I got into an argument with them and we need you back and and -" he looked sideways at the living room before looking back at Brian and taking both his hands over the table "I love you- and need you- and you need me-" Brian nodded along and stood up suddenly "Let's go then-" John blinked "Wait- wha-what like right now? I don't have time to finish this lovely waffle and a cup of tea? Brian Harold May-" John pretended to be offended- Brian was already halfway out of the kitchen "Waffles don't matter John Richard Deacon!" he ran and got his luggage and guitar while John thanked Brian's parents and started the car - after kissing his mother and hugging his father Brian found John outside leaning against the car bobbing his head to disco, he was just about to the car when someone threw a rock at John and yelled "Disco sucks!" John scowled and chucked a rock back "What do you know about good music anyway!? Wanker- Disco is great!" He frowned at Brian and rolled his eyes "Honestly- some people wouldn't know good music if it walked up to them wearing a sign that said- I'm good music- disco is my life- well part of it- you're the other half of my life so I'll share you with disco-" Brian chuckled "You know I love you right, but Disco?" John frowned "May- just get in the car-" he grinned happily as they set off- turning up the disco while driving and finishing the last bits of waffle and syrup - after that the steering wheel was sticky with syrup. 

John started singing loudly with Brian turned sideways and just watching rapturously "I've fallen in love  
I've fallen in love for the first time  
And this time I know it's for real  
I've fallen in love, yeah  
God knows, God knows I've fallen in love- aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" A car had swerved past them and John had freaked out and started screaming, Brian slid over onto John's lap and took the wheel "Deaky!?" "Aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh aghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!"

Brian drove the whole way home. Roger, Miami, Freddie, and Paul were waiting outside when they pulled up and got out. 

Roger instantly shook Brian's hand nearly ripping his arm off in the process "Good to have you back- and I'm truly sorry for what I did-" Brian nodded and glanced at Freddie "Ready Freddie?" Freddie smiled "It's about time dear- it's about time you returned - we were terribly worried about Deaky here- thought he was at death's door-" Roger nodded along quickly "He was really sick-" Deaky blushed and pulled Brian away from the small crowd "Your bedroom is the way you left it- pristine - I made sure to clean up after I slept there-" Brian kissed him "You know- I'd like you to do that every night?" John looked teasingly confused "What? Which one? Clean or sleep there?" Brian held him close "You know which one Deaky- obviously clean-" he winked and John laughed "Oh oh yes- you want me to clean your room yes? Well I -" Brian cut him off with a kiss "Of course I meant sleep Deaky-" 


	12. See what you've done to me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two months later. 
> 
> Deaky and Brian are finally happy together but will Roger or Paul try to break them up?
> 
> Or will it be the reporters that do?
> 
> (By the way- Roger is okay now so he probably won't be the reason)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As Freddie might say - 
> 
> 'Morning dears' 
> 
> I hope everyone has liked the chapters so far. 
> 
> Have a great day

Brian woke up and yawned - struggling closer through the blankets to the sleeping form of his boyfriend "Deaky-" he stroked his poof of a perm back off his face and kissed the nape of his neck "Deaky- it's time to get up love- Deaky-" John turned his head, one bleary eye blinking out at Brian from under his pillow "Mhmmmmmmmm?" Bismillah scratched at the door and Brian went to retrieve him, slipping out of the warm bed in his underwear and picking up the fat cat - he dropped the cat on John's lap "John Richard Deacon- wake up-" John rolled over and tugged on Brian's hand "Co-m-e back to bed-" he petulantly demanded through the fog of sleep -

Brian groaned- wanting to join his boyfriend back in bed but he couldn't because today was the interview and they had to rehearse what to say-  
He reluctantly tugged off the covers from around John and started squishing Deaky into his pants "John Richard Deacon - get up and don't be a child about this-" John swiftly tore on a tee shirt and socks nearly kicking Brian in the face before apologizing quickly "Sorry love-" he then pulled on a sweater and his shoes "Ready- ready- maybe we could stay here for one moment?" His wide eyes pleaded while his lips curved in a smile. 

Brian jumped onto the bed and lovingly tackled John "Alright- we can stay only for a moment - good grief- Deaky- your pants are terribly tight, how am I ever going to pull them off without a terrible struggle?" He laughed and planted a kiss in John's hair "We have to go-"

John laughed too "You tease-" Brian wiggled his eyebrows "After this interview-"

John staggered up and leaned on Brian "Okay-" he started falling asleep again and hung in Brian's arms - Brian scooped him up and carried him down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Shoes-" muttered John sleepily into Brian's neck "My shoes are upstairs-" Brian carried him upstairs again and laying him gently on the bed he shoved his feet carefully into his worn out shoes "Deaky you should get new shoes sometime soon-" John was already drifting into sleep. 

Brian sighed and lifted him into his arms after wrapping John into a blanket burrito- he took him back down the stairs and out the front door with a piece of toast hanging precariously from his mouth while he carried John and a cup of tea for both of them - he slid into his car after gently strapping John in and finishing half his toast and half the tea before driving towards the interview venue.

He was driving, always a little slowly 'like my gran, you drive like my old gran' Roger would always say with annoyance, when John's head slid down onto his shoulder and he glanced over to his boyfriend who had completely fallen asleep, Brian pulled over on a country roadside and kissed his boyfriend to alertness "Deaky? Dea-ky Deacon you got to wake up now- come on darling - come back to me-" John blinked at him "Did we really stay up that late last night?" Brian shrugged and pretended to look mildly offended "Well- you did enjoy yourself last night didn't you?" John nodded softly and smiled with nervous energy "What?" Brian asked and John bit his lip "We-ll-lll tha-twas ju-stmyfirsttime-" Brian took a minute to unravel Deaky's stream of words then smiled gently a little "Oh- well-" he cleared his throat "I uhhh, hope you found it to your urmmm liking-" John took Brian's hand from the wheel "I ummm urmmm, I I did- it was ver-y- we're late-" Brian looked at the road then back at John "What?" John tapped the car clock "We're late for the interview by a minute-" Brian started driving again but John stopped him "Let me? I love you but Rog is right on one thing- you drive like his gran- move over - and don't tell Roger that I said he was right on something - I'll never hear the end of it-" John slid over Brian and Brian slipped into the passenger seat. 

John set the car off like a charging race horse "This isn't Roger's car is it?" He asked as his nose scrunched up in disgust and Brian reluctantly nodded while he facepalmed "One of them anyway - the one he wrote the song about-" John looked surprised and a little disgusted "Ewwwwwwwww-"

As they neared the venue, Brian began thinking about what he would say- 

His brow furrowed in thought and he fell into a brown study completely losing track of time till he heard Deaky clear his throat- 

"Bri?" Brian shook and turned his head sideways to look at John "Mhmmmmmm? Yes?" John stared blankly out the front windshield, knuckles white on the steering wheel, he bit his lip and mulled over his words before speaking "You you make me feel less alone- less de-pr-essed, less shy- you make me live-" Brian's brow furrowed more "What made you think of that?" John didn't take his eyes off the road but groped for Brian's hand and finding it finally he gave it a tight squeeze "Because I was just thinking how much I love you and what my life would be without you-" Brian blinked and gently placed a kiss on John's cheek  
"You make me a better person Deaky- just by being here- I I love you too-" they pulled up to the venue and sat in the car for a moment- 

Brian clicked off his seatbelt and turned on the radio "Why'd you do that? Aren't we going inside? You know Rog will be unhappy if we keep him waiting?" Brian kissed John's forehead then his cheek and kept trailing kisses down- he grinned "Well then, he can just wait-" John sighed softly and nodded with a large smile crossing his lips "Serves him right for keeping us waiting all the time- it's only fair-"

There was a tap on the window and they quickly broke apart and looked up to find a surprised Miami Beach blinking at them through the window - John's hand was still tangled in Brian's hair and Brian had almost managed to slip John's shirt off - Jim Beach blinked again "Y-you're both late-" John separated himself from Brian and rolled down the window while blushing and not making eye contact "Just just by a-bout two minutes- Miami - that's not right- Rog is almost always late-" 

Brian quickly checked his fly then his hair and reluctantly got out of the car.

"What were you two thinking? What would've happened if a reporter saw you both, John laying on the seat like a- well- anyway- just be careful- anyways" John nodded stiffly and bit his lip hard, Brian didn't say anything as they walked out onto the stage and sat beside Freddie and a stony eyed Roger "You're late-" John slid beside Freddie and smiled apologetically "My fault- wouldn't get out of bed- Bri had to drag me out of the covers." He glanced over at Brian who kept giving him side glances- he opened his mouth to say something but the interview started at that moment. 

The interview did not go as well as previously hoped...

Brian and John were huddled at seperate sides of the same room with Roger standing beside Brian and Freddie beside John, John and Brian were glaring at each other "What's your problem then?" Brian raised his voice angrily and John looked away down at the floor with nothing sort of remorse and surprise "I didn't think it should be brought up - it's nothing I should have had to make apparent to you because I thought it was but apparently I was mistaken-" 

Paul Prenter sat watching this with all too much satisfaction- the reporter had done his job to the t and now chaos ensued - 

Roger was screaming for no reason while he drummed without a beat whatsoever- just so he could drown out Brian and John who both had started yelling at each other - Brian attacking and John on the defence, Freddie was standing in the middle of it with hands on his hips and cool shades over his eyes "Dears- my dears -" he was nearly hit by a flying drumstick which had been chucked at Brian by a rarely angry John, Freddie grabbed John's shoulder gently "Deaky dear- could you please not throw things?"


End file.
